In the continuing tradition of "the gimmicky the better" PRAS, the designers have to design a look based on the colour of a different flavour of gelato. Why? Who cares? They're running out of ideas. Just go with it, people.
Some designers were happier than others to be fed gelato (Hint: Michael and Anthony were VERY excited).
The designers had to shop at "Mini Mood" which was ostensibly to save time but I believe it was to prevent April and Mila from only buying black fabric. Where's all the black? What the hell? Why is all this fabric gelato-coloured?
Austin, no doubt responding to Joanna's questions about what kind of bra his model could wear with his dress...or else denying the accusation that he actually ate his whole gelato cone.
I can almost here the annoying gasps and fake tears of Kara's just by looking at this picture.
April, seen here wishing they made black gelato.
Let's grab some gelato (or Ben & Jerry's if "gelato" sounds too healthy) and take a look at the runway:
Anthony Williams likes to make dresses that ladies would wear to Sunday service. I get it. But unfortunately in this case it looks like the top is the beginning of a Sunday service dress and the bottom is the slip you wear under a dress. Does anyone remember slips? Either way, the poor girl looks like she's only half dressed.
I know a lot of you are probably fans of April Johnston and I can sort of see why. She's sort of fun and sarcastic and she'd be a great girl to go out with some night when you're feeling a little snarky. You could wear all black and sit at the back of the bar with cocktails and cigarettes and laugh at all the lame people. And she'd be a great person to borrow movies from, what with all those Tim Burton flix she must own. But do you love her clothes? Really? Like, the ones she makes today, as opposed to the ones she might make in, say, fifteen years? She's just nowhere near there yet. Why is she on All Stars? (Spoiler: after this episode, she isn't)
The only thing I dislike about Austin Scarlett's creamy concoction is the choice of accessories. I don't love the bag and I really think the sunglasses are unnecessary but, unlike the judges, I don't think styling alone is enough to make or break an outfit. As a matter of fact, I think if you get around to talking about the accessories it's probably because there's not much to criticize with the actual dress. So I'll give Austin an enthusiastic "Fairly well done, Austin."
Jerell Scott (real name: Scott Jerell) has a lot to say about a lot of people. It's what makes him one of my favourite contestants. I could hang out with Jerell and make fun of people ALL DAY. He's not, however, one of my favourite designers. He often criticizes Michael for making things "too simple." This has never been Jerell's problem. Every week he takes a bunch of fabrics in muted earth tones (not pastels, not jewel tones, just sort of muddy colours), makes a long, flowy bohemian dress out of them, then throws a bunch of sh*t on the shoulders, waist, and/or hips. There! Done! Oh wait, no. Time for a head piece. Quick! Where are the giant dangly earrings?
LCan we all just agree that Kara Janx sucks? Kara had the skinniest model of the bunch--scroll up and down and look at the models' knees and you can see that this girl is the thinnest. She's so skinny her doctor is probably worried about her. And YET Kara somehow managed to make like a hugely pregnant cupcake (you can tell the model is pissed about it too). Jerell said it best: "That's not the business."
Oh Kenley Collins, it's adorable as always. I know she's criticized a lot for making the same look over and over but, to be fair, almost ALL of the all-stars do that and they don't get as much criticism for it. Maybe it's because Kenley also dresses like this herself. But whatever. It's good to be your brand. Just ask Betsy Johnson.
Oh Michael Costello. I know you've been criticized for making things that are too simple and for not having the courage of your convictions. I know you make a lot of long flowy dresses with lots of draping, low necklines and few seams. I know Jerell looks down on you for making something so "easy." But SWEET JEBUS LOOK AT THIS DRESS! Who cares?! It's mutha-faukin' fantastic, is what it is. You go and get all the Diane von Furstenberg hugs you deserve, bebe!
The judges were a little ambivalent about Mila Hermanovski's cherry vanilla inspired dress but, I have to say, I liked it. I really thought it captured the challenge. I reminded me of the creaminess of the vanilla ice cream and the bright red bite of the cherries, while still being true to Mila's aesthetic and also very wearable. And I'm not usually a huge fan of Mila's work, so I was pretty impressed.
Because I didn't write this blog immediately after seeing the episode, I didn't realize that how I felt about Mondo Guerra's dress would change so much from when I first saw it. When the episode first aired I thought, "Hmm..well it sure does look like cantaloupe. But with a few tweaks it would be AMAZING! He should win!" Now...now I just hate it. The body of it is awkward and too tight or something. Or maybe it's not tight enough. Either way, it's just weird. And there's WAY too much gold everywhere--the belt, the glasses, the earrings, the shoes. I know kaftans are sort of popular again but we can't all be Mrs. Roper...even if we want to (see below).
Rami Kashou's dress does remind me a LOT of gelato. But if you just wanted a dress that looked good, as opposed to one that looked like ice cream, this might not be the one. Or if you wanted one that looked good AND looked like ice cream, well you should probably still give this one a pass.
The Results: Michael's dress impressed the judges--especially the divine DvF--so much that he easily too home the win. Michael took this news with the quiet, stoic reserve we have come to expect.
I think he piddled.
Unfortunately that meant April had to go home. It's sad, I know, but just remember: she was lucky to be there in the first place.
Next week: The designers get to go outside!
Oh, and before I forget...IT'S MRS. ROPER!
