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Friday, February 3, 2012

Project Runway All-Stars Episode 5: Clothes Off Your Back

Excuse me, would you get naked for me and my camera?

Fun! Fun! Fun! The designers have to run around Central Park asking people to be their muse AND give them the clothes off their backs, which will then be turned into runway looks. They can grab as many items of clothes as they can, but they have to pick one person who will act as their inspiration look. Okay, really it's just an excuse for these horny designers to get hot guys to strip naked for them. Wouldn't you?

Jerell Scott during the challenge
They gave them a portable change room and everything!

Michael Costello during the challenge
Michael was SOOOO convinced he had to have this and then as soon as he got back to the workroom one of the other designers uttered the word "doily" and he tossed it in the garbage. I feel bad for this poor girl who lost her sweater for nothing. Also, he couldn't figure out that it looked like a doily on his own? I mean, that's what makes it fabulous, but still. It's pretty obvious.

Austin Scarlett and contestants collecting clothing for the challenge
The designers did have the option to provide people with T-shirts and shorts to wear to replace their clothes. Funny, Austin must have forgotten...


The results: 

Anthony Williams seemed to have more fabric than anyone else put together, but it was mostly just the t-shirts (and underwear?) of hot guys so he ended up using fabric almost entirely bought at Mood. Turns out this was a problem. You don't say? It is a shame though, because he definitely didn't have the worst design of the week.


Austin Scarlett--Not bad at all, I thought. I thought it may have gotten the win (it didn't though).


Jerell Scott--Okay, okay, I get it. The judges thought this showed a little too much skin. But maybe that's just because they were picturing a woman wearing it. If you squint, couldn't you just see this on some skinny artsy twink drag queen? Like if she wanted to show her hippie bohemian side but still wanted to let you know she was the skinniest bitch in the bar? But she'd have better shoes. That's a given.



Kara Janx--Sometimes at night I dream that I am in hell and I am forced to give endless piggyback rides to ever-growing toddlers and to critique Kara Janx's clothes while listening to her explain herself in between exasperated breaths and fake tears.


I love Kenley Collins' dress so much it could be Mondo's! Actually if Mondo had made it, it probably would have won.


Michael Costello: (overheard backstage) "So I made eight different dresses and they were all good, but they weren't, like good good. What's that? It's time to go? Eeep! Quick! Put on this underwear that makes you look like one of your boobs has fallen and your pubic hair is taking over your hips! Whew. Did it again, Michael Costello."


Mila's inspiration look was...Mila! This is the exact outfit that Mila would wear if she was feeling "totally crazzzzy!" Or if she had just wet herself. What's with the black crotch?


Mondo--Of all the things that Mondo has designed, I just didn't feel like this was the Mondo-iest. I mean I know he had to be inspired by his muse, but...I just didn't feel this deserved the win. To me, this was a third place look. Respectable, but no tiara.



Oh Rami. I can't remember how I felt about this outfit the first time I saw it, but after some time is passed I realize just how much I hate it. Every single element of this look has something I hate. The overly ruffly blouse in the outdated print, the vest that looks like it was meant to be a blazer but he didn't know how to make a collar or sleeves, the front-butt mom shorts in a shade so neutral it might as well be called Caucasian Nude, the ridiculous zig-zaggy trim that runs throughout the blouse and shorts, the fedora and earrings that say, "I'm precious! Look how precious I am!"...it's all just too much. Where is the Rami who I felt was robbed of his rightful place as a second place contestant? (Let's face it, Rami was from Season Four--there was no way he deserved to beat Christian Siriano!)



So in the end the judges (including guest judge What'sHisName?) decided that Mondo was the Mondoiest after all and he got the win. And Anthony's time as a reality show starlet who likes to make dresses sometimes was, once again, brought to an end. Perhaps he could gain a whole bunch of weight and then go on Celebrity Fit Club or be a guest judge on Shear Genius or something. Bye, Anthony!

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