Is it wrong that the Japanese cookie monster dress is possibly my favourite thing from Project Runway EVER?

This week the designers had another unconventional materials challenge (Yayyyy!! shouted the home audience! Uh...yay...murmured the contestants). They had to go to Coney Island and use prizes from the midway as the materials for their looks. Good thing the games were rigged in their favour this time because otherwise they would have all been making dresses out of key chains and temporary tattoos, with a couple of fluorescent feather roach clips for good measure. At least that's all I ever win at the midway. But after only an hour the designers came away with mountains of giant teddy bears, blue vinyl aliens, blue vinyl dolphins and a pile of red sombreros. In teams of two, they could design any look they wanted.

Oh and they had to shill for Yoplait Frozen Yogurt FOR NO APPARENT REASON. I know Project Runway has a lot of sponsors and therefore a lot of product placements, but this Yoplait "advertisode" was particularly shameless. The designers had to hand out samples of the yogurt to the public (What public? Weren't they there at the crack of dawn so they could play all the rigged games before the park was open? Was it just the park staff and the crew of the show? I wonder.) then they had to ask them for "words to describe the experience" (I believe that's also known as "advertising copy"). They were supposed to use their favourite three words as the inspiration for their looks. Why? No reason. Yoplait wasn't awarding any prize money for this challenge, nor was the winning look associated with Yoplait in any way. In fact, they weren't judged on how well they drew inspiration from the yogurt or the descriptor words or anything. I'm pretty sure Nina didn't even know what they were talking about when they started saying things like "our words were 'fun' and 'energetic'". It was just a live commercial for one of the sponsors that had nothing to do with anything. Moving on.

The teams were "randomly" picked using the button bag. We'll just have to trust that it was random but we have no real way of knowing. It could have just as easily been prearranged by the producers, which wouldn't surprise me at all. Especially when they showed the clip of Miranda moaning about how much she hopes she doesn't have to work with fellow Milwaukite (Milwaukian?) Timothy, then cut to her being paired with Timothy. It was the pairing of the unpleasant bespectacled brunettes and it was--expectedly--not pretty. Timothy was an idiot child and Miranda was a grouchy mean girl babysitter. Miranda complained loudly about him to all the other designers while Timothy flounced off in a huff with his unicorn to have a good cry. Who am I even supposed to be rooting for here? Neither of them, that's for sure.

And what about Team Sandro and Sue? Talk about an unpleasant pairing! Sue seems nice enough but she doesn't know how to use a sewing machine. At all. Every year there's one designer who's a little overwhelmed by the high tech machines because they've gotten used to working on a crappy second hand one at home, or someone who is horrible at threading bobbins or something, but Sue seems utterly clueless. It makes me feel bad for all the crap that Season 9 winner Anya took for only learning to sew in the months leading up to her stint on Project Runway because at least she learned to sew. Sue seems unapologetic in her incompetence and expects people to help her every week. Having said that, she couldn't have gotten stuck with a worse partner. To say Sandro is short-tempered and belligerent would be an understatement. He actually seems more like a black out drunk to me. Like I seriously would not be surprised if in the reunion show they show him clips from the workroom and he says, "I don't remember any of that." The only time he was happy was when Sue just gave up and said she'd do whatever he said, which is apparently the way he thinks women should behave to men. Charming.

Not every team had drama. Kate and Helen got along famously, so much so that Helen "almost felt embarrassed for calling her a bitch." Almost, but not quite apparently. The thing about Kate is that she's easy to get along with if you agree with everything she says and kiss her ass, which Helen did. Helen is like a yappy little puppy that thinks it's so big and tough until Cesar Millan comes along and dominates it. In this case, Kate is Cesar Millan (I half expected her to say "Tsst" at Helen). Clearly she has found her new Tu.

One team I was surprised by was Alexandria and Dom. As a viewer, I really like Alexandria. She's pretty and grouchy and has a great accent. But I can't imagine she'd be much fun for her fellow designers. But not only did she and Dom do well together, they actually made something really fun and quirky, not what I was expecting at all! It also seemed like it wasn't all just one designer's point of view, which is great. And even though I know that their Japanese monster dress would probably be better suited on a younger girl, I WOULD WEAR THE HECK OUT OF THAT DRESS! I would wear it EVERYWHERE if I had it. People would be embarrassed to be seen with me after a while but I wouldn't even care. I'd chase them away with my giant fluffy monster teeth. RAWR!!

Which reminds me...what exactly did Sandro think "fluffy" meant? He said he thought it was something sexual and he and Bradon whispered to each other and Bradon nodded knowingly. I WANT TO KNOW! Please let that be revealed in the behind-the-scenes/reunion show!!

As for the winners and losers? I can't say I disagreed with the judges. I personally preferred Alexandria and Dom's look, but I think Kate and Helen's was harder to make and more dramatic in its own way. I was happy that both of those teams were in the top. And even though the judges were spoiled for choice for the bottom, it was pretty clear that the two teams they chose were particularly bad. Alexander and Jeremy seemed incapable of leaving any idea on the workroom floor (More! We need more! More plastic! More ruffles!).

But Timothy and Miranda were doomed from the start. Even the one thing that Timothy was so proud of, that damn woven vest, was terrible. And how great was it when Kelly Osbourne said she had seen videos on the internet on how to make that exact thing? I was happy that no one else was sacrificed just so ridiculous Timothy could have one more chance. It was definitely his time to go.

I'd had about as much as I could stand of his lectures on what "real" unicorns were like (they're not horses with horns, but are more closely related to hippos? WTF??). At first I thought he just loved unicorns the way someone would love glitter or the colour pink. Or maybe the way Bronies love My Little Ponies. In a fun, campy way. Then he got all serious about the "real" biology of unicorns and I was like, "What the what?"

I can only hope that Timothy did enough to get mentioned on The Soup. I'd love to see Joel McHale react to Timothy's cloven hoof unicorn theories and tears.