Jesse Tyler Ferguson look-a-like Bradon McDonald temporarily restores my faith in humanity, bow ties

Season 12, Episode 4: Tie the Knot

Every week Project Runway promises "drama on the runway" but this week there actually was some. Sandro storming off in a camera-slapping huff. Jesse Tyler Fergusan fabulously talking about gay marriage and bow ties. Marriage proposals on the runway! Heidi offering to be a bridesmaid! It was a pretty great episode all around.

The Challenge:

It started* with the designers being tasked to make a women's wear look inspired by one (or more) of the bow ties from Tie the Knot, Jesse Tyler Ferguson's company that sells bow ties and uses the proceeds to fund the marriage equality lobby. Jesse was adorable and funny and gracious. I call him "Jesse" because I feel like I know him and we're old pals (Don't you?). What they didn't mention on the show was that the winning look would be auctioned off to raise money for tietheknot.org

*I said that's how the show started but actually that's not true. The episode actually started with a clip of Sandro flipping out in the designers' lounge and getting into a big fight with Helen and Ken, then storming off in a mannequin-flipping hissy fit. Then the words "36 Hours Earlier" came up on the screen. So obviously this whole episode was going to be framed around Sandro's freak out. But more on that later.

The Workroom:

For this challenge, the designers had a "suggested budget" of $200 and most of them stayed well within it. Except Sue, who seems to be both stubborn and somewhat incompetent, who spent $400. Then she made two dresses. For no reason. And she chose the uglier one (by far) to send down the runway. People tried to tell her but...stubborn.

Miranda's "tough chick" exterior lasted its predictable 3 seconds before she once again turned into a crying mess of self-doubt and repetition. In the end she made the exact same pencil skirt and crop top combination she's made every week so far (except for last week when Timothy forced her to make something much worse). I can't imagine what an entire runway show of hers would look like. Actually I can and it's very boring.

The other designer who had trouble this week was Jeremy, who had just received the bad news that his grandmother had died. Well he kept saying it was his grandmother but then he said it was actually his husband's maternal grandmother. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt that what he meant was that he is so close to his husband's family that his grandmother-in-law feels like his own "gran." Because the way he said it made it sound like he had married his first cousin. Just sayin'.

Sandro also struggled this week, trying to figure out what the judges want from him. Tim tried his best to remind him that you have to be true to your own design aesthetic and not drive yourself crazy trying to please the judges. But Sandro seemed only partially convinced. And completely drunk, once again. But I kind of liked his dress. Sort of.

Helen seemed to love her look...at first. In the workroom she had a body-con strapless dress in soft grey that she claimed was "menswear inspired" because of the colour and because she had a bow tie around her dress form's neck. When Tim told her it looked very feminine to him she flipped out and didn't want to do anything anymore. I don't know how she even managed to turn the promising dress she was working on in the workroom into the ridiculous pile of bland fabrics that came down the runway.

Sigh. Helen is so immature it's kind of annoying. She's like a moody teenager who wants people to think she's tough but who is constantly looking for validation. Her fantasy design is pretty wedding gowns which she has zero idea how to make (like many twelve-year-olds). When she hears even the slightest criticism, she flips out. Her behaviour is boring and childish and I can't wait until she's (soon) eliminated.

Not all of the designers faltered of course. Kate's look ended up being well received by the judges, despite it looking like a frumpier version of the same sweet little princess silhouette that she does ALL THE TIME, except with leggings. I was unimpressed.

Dom continues to be one to watch with her truly impressive sewing skills and taste level. Her look wasn't my favourite, but I definitely liked it and was glad she had spent her time making it perfect--as Tim suggested--rather than doing a half-assed job so she'd have time to make a jacket. Good choice, Dom. I bet her dress was one that looked even better up close than on TV because of all the pattern detail she did with the stripes.

But my favourite by far--and also the judges' favourite--was Bradon's look. His top made of bow ties was all kinds of clever, even though it could have gone bad fast. I think every art student that I've ever met has a "necktie skirt" somewhere in the back of their closet, so I was afraid it was going to look like student work (like Alexander's bow tie bib that he was inordinately proud of, for instance) but it didn't. Heidi was right though--part of it was because Bradon's model, Ya, has an AMAZING body. He's very lucky to have her as his muse.

The Runway:

Heidi announces that Bradon, Miranda, Sue, Dom, Kate and Jeremy are the top and bottom designers, which means that everyone else is safe. But the judges do want to point out that Helen is damn lucky to have immunity because based on her effort this week, they have serious reservations about her ability. Nina tells her she suspects Helen's win last week had more to do with Kate's ability than her own. This is a totally fair and reasonable criticism, which Helen must realize since she tries to hide behind the other designers (literally) when the judges call her. She knows she did a horrible job. But that doesn't stop her from being bratty and indignant backstage ("They had the NERVE to say I only won because of Kate?!").

Sandro, despite being safe, demands the judges give him feedback on his design. Zac Posen tells him it looks like a woman doing a walk of shame the day after a red carpet event and that he has questionable taste. Sandro insists that he's learning, that he's a student, but Zac points out that it's not "Project Runway Student Edition" (ARE YOU LISTENING, HELEN?). (Note to self: Email the producers and ask them to do a Project Runway: Student Edition season. It would either be great...or truly terrible).

Back stage, Sandro stews over what the judges said while Helen cries and yells at him for not caring about HER feelings more. God I'm sick of Helen. People were right to criticize Sandro's outburst on the runway because it was awkward and inappropriate, but if you listen to Helen's actual criticism of him, it's all about her. She's crying because SHE WAS BARELY SAFE YOU GUYS and why don't people care more about that? Ugh. I'm not excusing Sandro's bad behaviour, but Helen isn't the good guy here. Basically they were just having their own separate meltdowns at each other.

Of course, only Sandro's resulted in him storming out of the building and punching the cameras on the way. I wonder what bar he ended up in?

But back to the runway. Dom, Kate and Bradon were on the top and Bradon took the win. I loved his look and was thrilled for him.

Bradon was thrilled with the win as well, but even more so, he was emotional about the marriage equality theme of the challenge. Which is what prompted him to PROPOSE ON AIR to his long-term partner, Josh. WOW! Heidi even said she'd be a bridesmaid (she won't, but it would be awesome if she went to the wedding)! I wasn't sure if Bradon intended to wait until the show aired and let Josh see the proposal on TV, but it turned out he didn't have to because in a video chat with him later that day, Josh proposed to him! YAY! I wonder if the producers thought to film their video chat from the beginning, just in case, or if they made them repeat their whole conversation for the camera. Either way, it was all kinds of sweet. It gave me the feelings in my mushy heart.

But let's get back to Sandro. What the hell happened? When Tim came out to tell Heidi and the other judges that Sandro had stormed off and had gone missing, did you see their faces? Nina was priceless. She looked like she was struggling not to burst out laughing at the absurdity and drama of it all.

In the end Sandro's behaviour led to his elimination (whether he quit, was disqualified or simply went missing was unclear...possibly a combination of those?). So that means that the bottom three--Miranda, Sue and Jeremy--were all safe. Miranda met this news with self-pitying tears. But I suspect that's also how she'd react if you told her she won a fruit basket in an office draw. She cries a lot is what I'm saying.

Next Week:

It looks like another group challenge, but I'm not sure what they'll be doing. Can't wait though!

Is it wrong that the Japanese cookie monster dress is possibly my favourite thing from Project Runway EVER?

This week the designers had another unconventional materials challenge (Yayyyy!! shouted the home audience! Uh...yay...murmured the contestants). They had to go to Coney Island and use prizes from the midway as the materials for their looks. Good thing the games were rigged in their favour this time because otherwise they would have all been making dresses out of key chains and temporary tattoos, with a couple of fluorescent feather roach clips for good measure. At least that's all I ever win at the midway. But after only an hour the designers came away with mountains of giant teddy bears, blue vinyl aliens, blue vinyl dolphins and a pile of red sombreros. In teams of two, they could design any look they wanted.

Oh and they had to shill for Yoplait Frozen Yogurt FOR NO APPARENT REASON. I know Project Runway has a lot of sponsors and therefore a lot of product placements, but this Yoplait "advertisode" was particularly shameless. The designers had to hand out samples of the yogurt to the public (What public? Weren't they there at the crack of dawn so they could play all the rigged games before the park was open? Was it just the park staff and the crew of the show? I wonder.) then they had to ask them for "words to describe the experience" (I believe that's also known as "advertising copy"). They were supposed to use their favourite three words as the inspiration for their looks. Why? No reason. Yoplait wasn't awarding any prize money for this challenge, nor was the winning look associated with Yoplait in any way. In fact, they weren't judged on how well they drew inspiration from the yogurt or the descriptor words or anything. I'm pretty sure Nina didn't even know what they were talking about when they started saying things like "our words were 'fun' and 'energetic'". It was just a live commercial for one of the sponsors that had nothing to do with anything. Moving on.

The teams were "randomly" picked using the button bag. We'll just have to trust that it was random but we have no real way of knowing. It could have just as easily been prearranged by the producers, which wouldn't surprise me at all. Especially when they showed the clip of Miranda moaning about how much she hopes she doesn't have to work with fellow Milwaukite (Milwaukian?) Timothy, then cut to her being paired with Timothy. It was the pairing of the unpleasant bespectacled brunettes and it was--expectedly--not pretty. Timothy was an idiot child and Miranda was a grouchy mean girl babysitter. Miranda complained loudly about him to all the other designers while Timothy flounced off in a huff with his unicorn to have a good cry. Who am I even supposed to be rooting for here? Neither of them, that's for sure.

And what about Team Sandro and Sue? Talk about an unpleasant pairing! Sue seems nice enough but she doesn't know how to use a sewing machine. At all. Every year there's one designer who's a little overwhelmed by the high tech machines because they've gotten used to working on a crappy second hand one at home, or someone who is horrible at threading bobbins or something, but Sue seems utterly clueless. It makes me feel bad for all the crap that Season 9 winner Anya took for only learning to sew in the months leading up to her stint on Project Runway because at least she learned to sew. Sue seems unapologetic in her incompetence and expects people to help her every week. Having said that, she couldn't have gotten stuck with a worse partner. To say Sandro is short-tempered and belligerent would be an understatement. He actually seems more like a black out drunk to me. Like I seriously would not be surprised if in the reunion show they show him clips from the workroom and he says, "I don't remember any of that." The only time he was happy was when Sue just gave up and said she'd do whatever he said, which is apparently the way he thinks women should behave to men. Charming.

Not every team had drama. Kate and Helen got along famously, so much so that Helen "almost felt embarrassed for calling her a bitch." Almost, but not quite apparently. The thing about Kate is that she's easy to get along with if you agree with everything she says and kiss her ass, which Helen did. Helen is like a yappy little puppy that thinks it's so big and tough until Cesar Millan comes along and dominates it. In this case, Kate is Cesar Millan (I half expected her to say "Tsst" at Helen). Clearly she has found her new Tu.

One team I was surprised by was Alexandria and Dom. As a viewer, I really like Alexandria. She's pretty and grouchy and has a great accent. But I can't imagine she'd be much fun for her fellow designers. But not only did she and Dom do well together, they actually made something really fun and quirky, not what I was expecting at all! It also seemed like it wasn't all just one designer's point of view, which is great. And even though I know that their Japanese monster dress would probably be better suited on a younger girl, I WOULD WEAR THE HECK OUT OF THAT DRESS! I would wear it EVERYWHERE if I had it. People would be embarrassed to be seen with me after a while but I wouldn't even care. I'd chase them away with my giant fluffy monster teeth. RAWR!!

Which reminds me...what exactly did Sandro think "fluffy" meant? He said he thought it was something sexual and he and Bradon whispered to each other and Bradon nodded knowingly. I WANT TO KNOW! Please let that be revealed in the behind-the-scenes/reunion show!!

As for the winners and losers? I can't say I disagreed with the judges. I personally preferred Alexandria and Dom's look, but I think Kate and Helen's was harder to make and more dramatic in its own way. I was happy that both of those teams were in the top. And even though the judges were spoiled for choice for the bottom, it was pretty clear that the two teams they chose were particularly bad. Alexander and Jeremy seemed incapable of leaving any idea on the workroom floor (More! We need more! More plastic! More ruffles!).

But Timothy and Miranda were doomed from the start. Even the one thing that Timothy was so proud of, that damn woven vest, was terrible. And how great was it when Kelly Osbourne said she had seen videos on the internet on how to make that exact thing? I was happy that no one else was sacrificed just so ridiculous Timothy could have one more chance. It was definitely his time to go.

I'd had about as much as I could stand of his lectures on what "real" unicorns were like (they're not horses with horns, but are more closely related to hippos? WTF??). At first I thought he just loved unicorns the way someone would love glitter or the colour pink. Or maybe the way Bronies love My Little Ponies. In a fun, campy way. Then he got all serious about the "real" biology of unicorns and I was like, "What the what?"

I can only hope that Timothy did enough to get mentioned on The Soup. I'd love to see Joel McHale react to Timothy's cloven hoof unicorn theories and tears.

Does anyone else get the feeling the producers are *really* the ones picking the winners and losers?

On this week's episode of Project Runway, the designers had a dream challenge. Design a look that compliments diamond jewellery collectively worth over $30 million. Wowza! They've certainly amped up their sponsorship this year! How funny was it to see the designers faces when they saw the security guards on the runway? They reasonably assumed that the men were their models and maybe they were designing uniforms...until they saw the real guns.

It reminded me of the Philip Treacy challenge in which they had to make outfits to show off outrageous hats. Like that challenge, I expected a lot of simple, slinky dresses walking down the runway, showing off but not distracting from all the sparkles.

But the reaction I was most excited to see was of course Timothy's. We know two things about Timothy so far: One, he claims to be all about "sustainable eco-conscious wear." And two, he has no idea what that means. Again he did not disappoint.

There are a lot of very good reasons to be uncomfortable with diamonds. Remember Blood Diamond? What about the fact that they represent a socioeconomic divide between the haves and have-nots? What about the fact that we mine the earth just to get rocks that take millions of years to form and mostly just use them for decoration? But no. Timothy didn't think of any of that.

His objection? "We have to pick the prettiest diamond. And that's very superficial."

Oh. My. God.

His campaign of cluelessness continued when the designers got to Mood. He gleefully and self-righteously made a production of going through the "garbage" but then changed that to the "remnants" and then just picked fabric that had been dropped off by another design house (Zac Posen apparently!). So I'm not sure how much "upcycling" that really is. Tim tried to direct him to the organics section, but he wasn't interested. He seemed to think that if the fabric was "pre-owned" it was more eco-friendly than if it was not, regardless of what kind of fabric it was. But as Mila Hermanovski points out, half of Mood is "pre-owned." Design houses drop fabrics off ALL THE TIME, so you'll find things there that say "Marc Jacobs," "Vera Wang," etc. But still he managed to find the ugliest blue velvet (sorry Zac) and pair it with what looked like lining material. It was odious.

Oh and he used makeup on his model. Because it's easy to change your convictions on a dime when you're making them up as you go.

But Timothy's wasn't the only ugly, ill-fitting dress on the runway. Jeremy's looked like a dirty feather duster. Karen's looked like it was made by a twelve-year old. Helen's sad brown dress made the model look like she had no chest (that poor model! she was Timothy's shoeless, product-less model last week). And Alexander's, though well made, looked like a Golden Girl Gone Wild.

With all these candidates for last place, how the heck did Kahindo go home? Her dress was (mostly) finished, (mostly) well-made, and maybe a little boring. In other words it was middle-of-the-road, safe. IT WAS THE VERY DEFINITION OF SAFE. Why wasn't it, in fact, safe from elimination?

I suspect it was Kahindo rather than her dress that got eliminated. Sandro and Timothy make good TV and I think it'll be a long time before we see the end of them, at least if the producers have anything to say about it (which of course they do...besides Heidi IS one of the producers). And Helen had a full-blown panic attack on camera so I wasn't surprised they decided to keep her. I personally would have loved to see more of Kahindo and I was disappointed to see her go, especially when she didn't have the worst dress (or even the most boring, I think).

As for the winner, Kate? I don't want to talk about it. I'm just trying to ignore her so she'll go away. So far it's not working.

8 Reasons To Be Excited About the New Season of Project Runway

1. It's Project Runway, bitches! Project Runway has always been my favourite reality competition show by far, and after 11 regular seasons, several different "all-star" seasons, numerous spinoffs, a network shift and a few cast changes, it's still as great as it ever was. I love the format, I love Heidi and Tim, and I love that we get to see talented professionals make things that we can see and judge from home. I also love cooking competition shows but unfortunately you can't smell and taste the food through the TV so it's a little harder to judge. But we can all see the clothes and decide for ourselves if they're fugly.

2. Anonymous runway shows. This is very smart. I like that the judges are going to see and rate the clothes first before they know who did what, presumably to reduce their natural bias for or against certain designers. Having said that, I wonder how long it'll be before they all can spot whose design is whose. Not long, I suspect. Plus I bet there will be at least one designer who gets negative feedback if the judges can't immediately spot which design is theirs after a certain point. In the end it may not make a huge difference in the judging, but I think it may make the designers feel like they're on a more even playing field.

3. Tim gets to sit with the judges! It's about time. I understand why it's important for the role of mentor and the role of judge to be separate. There have been other fashion competition shows in which that is not the case, and it usually gets messy. As Tim has said, it's important that the clothes are judged based on the product, not the process. At the same time, it's nice that Tim can be there to bring perspective when needed. And he gets a veto card! I'll be so interested to see when he'll use it!

4. The judges get to see the top and bottom looks UP CLOSE. OMG this could be a game changer (forgive the overused phrase). I only wish that Ramon had been the designer voted back in so he could try to pass off something like his green neoprene monstrosity as a finished look. As Tim Gunn has openly said, that would NOT have held up to close scrutiny!

5. Designers get to decide their own budgets. Oh boy. How is this going to work exactly? Instead of a set budget for each challenge, the designers will be given a GoBank account with $4000 and a debit card. Every time they go to Mood, they will have to decide how much of that budget they are going to spend. Spend too much and they may run out of money before the end of the season (that MUST happen to at least on designer, right?). Spend too little and they may have trouble competing with the other looks. What do do? Also, will they be able to retain scraps from one challenge to the next, using leftover zippers and fabrics in future challenges? My guess is no, but it'll be interesting to see how it all plays out. And what happens in team challenges?

6. Zac Posen. I know this is actually his second season as a full-time judge but it took me a while to warm up to him. It's not that I don't like him (LOVE HIM ACTUALLY!) but I was sure I would miss Michael Kors. Turns out I don't miss him all that much. While it's fun to have the eccentrically mean judge, which is what Kors had become, the truth is that all of the judges can be mean at times, and Heidi at least is no stranger to the eccentric turn of phrase. So it's still a very entertaining panel to watch. But Zac's criticism seems nicer and more constructive, which makes it all the more satisfying when he calls a designer out on their $#!@.

7. Timothy Westbrook and his smuggy interpretation of "sustainability." Why is this a good thing, you may ask? Surely the 24-year-old Milwaukee designer who "identifies as a sustainability focused fibre artist" but then is giddy over the prospect of burning nylon parachute material, which releases toxic fumes into the environment, is too much of an idiot to be tolerated? And a smug idiot at that! Yes, that's true. But I think this smugiot will be very fun to watch simply because every single person on the show seems to know more about sustainability than he does, which will cause no end of opportunities to laugh at him.

He seems to think that sustainable fashion refers to only using found or recycled materials (actually that's called upcycling or trashion) or not using any electricity, makeup or hair products. Of course, he doesn't seem to know WHICH of these beauty products may be bad for the environment and which ones would be gentler alternatives, nor does he seem interested in finding out. He also seems to have no concept of the impact of the manufacturing process on the environment, which is the main focus of the sustainable design movement. The chemicals involved in making synthetic fabrics (or glittery shoes), for instance, or the pesticides involved in growing non-organic cotton. Or the worldwide impact of the fashion industry on the working conditions of factory workers or cotton farmers. These are the sort of global concerns that designers like Stella McCartney think about. Not things like using a wood burning stove to make a dress so you don't have to use electricity.

Like I said, he's a smugiot. But I can't wait to make fun of him some more! I hope Zac Posen yells at him in every challenge!

8. Holy prizes, Batman! The fact that this season boasts the biggest prize package to date may not make much of a difference to me as a viewer, but it should make the designers that much more competitive. Also, some of the perks that come from having a TONNE of heavy duty sponsors are pretty spectacular, like next week's $30 MILLION WORTH OF DIAMONDS ON THE RUNWAY. OMG I can't wait!

So what am I NOT so psyched about? In a word, Kate. I'm no fan of the "second chance bonus designer" idea to start with, because I think it weakens the integrity of the entire show. I hate when competitions that are supposed to be based on merit and how people perform in each individual challenge then turn around and say, "Just kidding! These people will get a second chance. Or a third. Or a fan vote comeback. Or an all-star season. Or a just-because-we-said-so bonus chance. Just these people though, not everyone." Because then it's no longer a competition based on merit. It's based on merit UNLESS the producers really like you and find ways to bring you back no matter what. I hate it. (Well, except the all-star season. I can live with that. But still, how MANY seasons can we have of that and still call them "All-Stars"?)

But even if I didn't hate the concept, I'd still hate Kate. She's unlikable. REALLY unlikable, and not even in a "fun to hate" kind of way. She's not a Disney villain. She's more like that bratty, bitchy girl you're forced to sit next to in high school even though you can't stand her. And since she's from Season 11, it feels like we JUST got rid of her and now she's back. It's like finding out that the bitchy girl from high school is now your sister-in-law. Ugh. I can't wait until Heidi divorces her (OMG I'm sorry for making a Heidi divorce joke. TOO SOON!).