Jesse Tyler Ferguson look-a-like Bradon McDonald temporarily restores my faith in humanity, bow ties

Season 12, Episode 4: Tie the Knot

Every week Project Runway promises "drama on the runway" but this week there actually was some. Sandro storming off in a camera-slapping huff. Jesse Tyler Fergusan fabulously talking about gay marriage and bow ties. Marriage proposals on the runway! Heidi offering to be a bridesmaid! It was a pretty great episode all around.

The Challenge:

It started* with the designers being tasked to make a women's wear look inspired by one (or more) of the bow ties from Tie the Knot, Jesse Tyler Ferguson's company that sells bow ties and uses the proceeds to fund the marriage equality lobby. Jesse was adorable and funny and gracious. I call him "Jesse" because I feel like I know him and we're old pals (Don't you?). What they didn't mention on the show was that the winning look would be auctioned off to raise money for tietheknot.org

*I said that's how the show started but actually that's not true. The episode actually started with a clip of Sandro flipping out in the designers' lounge and getting into a big fight with Helen and Ken, then storming off in a mannequin-flipping hissy fit. Then the words "36 Hours Earlier" came up on the screen. So obviously this whole episode was going to be framed around Sandro's freak out. But more on that later.

The Workroom:

For this challenge, the designers had a "suggested budget" of $200 and most of them stayed well within it. Except Sue, who seems to be both stubborn and somewhat incompetent, who spent $400. Then she made two dresses. For no reason. And she chose the uglier one (by far) to send down the runway. People tried to tell her but...stubborn.

Miranda's "tough chick" exterior lasted its predictable 3 seconds before she once again turned into a crying mess of self-doubt and repetition. In the end she made the exact same pencil skirt and crop top combination she's made every week so far (except for last week when Timothy forced her to make something much worse). I can't imagine what an entire runway show of hers would look like. Actually I can and it's very boring.

The other designer who had trouble this week was Jeremy, who had just received the bad news that his grandmother had died. Well he kept saying it was his grandmother but then he said it was actually his husband's maternal grandmother. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt that what he meant was that he is so close to his husband's family that his grandmother-in-law feels like his own "gran." Because the way he said it made it sound like he had married his first cousin. Just sayin'.

Sandro also struggled this week, trying to figure out what the judges want from him. Tim tried his best to remind him that you have to be true to your own design aesthetic and not drive yourself crazy trying to please the judges. But Sandro seemed only partially convinced. And completely drunk, once again. But I kind of liked his dress. Sort of.

Helen seemed to love her look...at first. In the workroom she had a body-con strapless dress in soft grey that she claimed was "menswear inspired" because of the colour and because she had a bow tie around her dress form's neck. When Tim told her it looked very feminine to him she flipped out and didn't want to do anything anymore. I don't know how she even managed to turn the promising dress she was working on in the workroom into the ridiculous pile of bland fabrics that came down the runway.

Sigh. Helen is so immature it's kind of annoying. She's like a moody teenager who wants people to think she's tough but who is constantly looking for validation. Her fantasy design is pretty wedding gowns which she has zero idea how to make (like many twelve-year-olds). When she hears even the slightest criticism, she flips out. Her behaviour is boring and childish and I can't wait until she's (soon) eliminated.

Not all of the designers faltered of course. Kate's look ended up being well received by the judges, despite it looking like a frumpier version of the same sweet little princess silhouette that she does ALL THE TIME, except with leggings. I was unimpressed.

Dom continues to be one to watch with her truly impressive sewing skills and taste level. Her look wasn't my favourite, but I definitely liked it and was glad she had spent her time making it perfect--as Tim suggested--rather than doing a half-assed job so she'd have time to make a jacket. Good choice, Dom. I bet her dress was one that looked even better up close than on TV because of all the pattern detail she did with the stripes.

But my favourite by far--and also the judges' favourite--was Bradon's look. His top made of bow ties was all kinds of clever, even though it could have gone bad fast. I think every art student that I've ever met has a "necktie skirt" somewhere in the back of their closet, so I was afraid it was going to look like student work (like Alexander's bow tie bib that he was inordinately proud of, for instance) but it didn't. Heidi was right though--part of it was because Bradon's model, Ya, has an AMAZING body. He's very lucky to have her as his muse.

The Runway:

Heidi announces that Bradon, Miranda, Sue, Dom, Kate and Jeremy are the top and bottom designers, which means that everyone else is safe. But the judges do want to point out that Helen is damn lucky to have immunity because based on her effort this week, they have serious reservations about her ability. Nina tells her she suspects Helen's win last week had more to do with Kate's ability than her own. This is a totally fair and reasonable criticism, which Helen must realize since she tries to hide behind the other designers (literally) when the judges call her. She knows she did a horrible job. But that doesn't stop her from being bratty and indignant backstage ("They had the NERVE to say I only won because of Kate?!").

Sandro, despite being safe, demands the judges give him feedback on his design. Zac Posen tells him it looks like a woman doing a walk of shame the day after a red carpet event and that he has questionable taste. Sandro insists that he's learning, that he's a student, but Zac points out that it's not "Project Runway Student Edition" (ARE YOU LISTENING, HELEN?). (Note to self: Email the producers and ask them to do a Project Runway: Student Edition season. It would either be great...or truly terrible).

Back stage, Sandro stews over what the judges said while Helen cries and yells at him for not caring about HER feelings more. God I'm sick of Helen. People were right to criticize Sandro's outburst on the runway because it was awkward and inappropriate, but if you listen to Helen's actual criticism of him, it's all about her. She's crying because SHE WAS BARELY SAFE YOU GUYS and why don't people care more about that? Ugh. I'm not excusing Sandro's bad behaviour, but Helen isn't the good guy here. Basically they were just having their own separate meltdowns at each other.

Of course, only Sandro's resulted in him storming out of the building and punching the cameras on the way. I wonder what bar he ended up in?

But back to the runway. Dom, Kate and Bradon were on the top and Bradon took the win. I loved his look and was thrilled for him.

Bradon was thrilled with the win as well, but even more so, he was emotional about the marriage equality theme of the challenge. Which is what prompted him to PROPOSE ON AIR to his long-term partner, Josh. WOW! Heidi even said she'd be a bridesmaid (she won't, but it would be awesome if she went to the wedding)! I wasn't sure if Bradon intended to wait until the show aired and let Josh see the proposal on TV, but it turned out he didn't have to because in a video chat with him later that day, Josh proposed to him! YAY! I wonder if the producers thought to film their video chat from the beginning, just in case, or if they made them repeat their whole conversation for the camera. Either way, it was all kinds of sweet. It gave me the feelings in my mushy heart.

But let's get back to Sandro. What the hell happened? When Tim came out to tell Heidi and the other judges that Sandro had stormed off and had gone missing, did you see their faces? Nina was priceless. She looked like she was struggling not to burst out laughing at the absurdity and drama of it all.

In the end Sandro's behaviour led to his elimination (whether he quit, was disqualified or simply went missing was unclear...possibly a combination of those?). So that means that the bottom three--Miranda, Sue and Jeremy--were all safe. Miranda met this news with self-pitying tears. But I suspect that's also how she'd react if you told her she won a fruit basket in an office draw. She cries a lot is what I'm saying.

Next Week:

It looks like another group challenge, but I'm not sure what they'll be doing. Can't wait though!

Is it wrong that the Japanese cookie monster dress is possibly my favourite thing from Project Runway EVER?

This week the designers had another unconventional materials challenge (Yayyyy!! shouted the home audience! Uh...yay...murmured the contestants). They had to go to Coney Island and use prizes from the midway as the materials for their looks. Good thing the games were rigged in their favour this time because otherwise they would have all been making dresses out of key chains and temporary tattoos, with a couple of fluorescent feather roach clips for good measure. At least that's all I ever win at the midway. But after only an hour the designers came away with mountains of giant teddy bears, blue vinyl aliens, blue vinyl dolphins and a pile of red sombreros. In teams of two, they could design any look they wanted.

Oh and they had to shill for Yoplait Frozen Yogurt FOR NO APPARENT REASON. I know Project Runway has a lot of sponsors and therefore a lot of product placements, but this Yoplait "advertisode" was particularly shameless. The designers had to hand out samples of the yogurt to the public (What public? Weren't they there at the crack of dawn so they could play all the rigged games before the park was open? Was it just the park staff and the crew of the show? I wonder.) then they had to ask them for "words to describe the experience" (I believe that's also known as "advertising copy"). They were supposed to use their favourite three words as the inspiration for their looks. Why? No reason. Yoplait wasn't awarding any prize money for this challenge, nor was the winning look associated with Yoplait in any way. In fact, they weren't judged on how well they drew inspiration from the yogurt or the descriptor words or anything. I'm pretty sure Nina didn't even know what they were talking about when they started saying things like "our words were 'fun' and 'energetic'". It was just a live commercial for one of the sponsors that had nothing to do with anything. Moving on.

The teams were "randomly" picked using the button bag. We'll just have to trust that it was random but we have no real way of knowing. It could have just as easily been prearranged by the producers, which wouldn't surprise me at all. Especially when they showed the clip of Miranda moaning about how much she hopes she doesn't have to work with fellow Milwaukite (Milwaukian?) Timothy, then cut to her being paired with Timothy. It was the pairing of the unpleasant bespectacled brunettes and it was--expectedly--not pretty. Timothy was an idiot child and Miranda was a grouchy mean girl babysitter. Miranda complained loudly about him to all the other designers while Timothy flounced off in a huff with his unicorn to have a good cry. Who am I even supposed to be rooting for here? Neither of them, that's for sure.

And what about Team Sandro and Sue? Talk about an unpleasant pairing! Sue seems nice enough but she doesn't know how to use a sewing machine. At all. Every year there's one designer who's a little overwhelmed by the high tech machines because they've gotten used to working on a crappy second hand one at home, or someone who is horrible at threading bobbins or something, but Sue seems utterly clueless. It makes me feel bad for all the crap that Season 9 winner Anya took for only learning to sew in the months leading up to her stint on Project Runway because at least she learned to sew. Sue seems unapologetic in her incompetence and expects people to help her every week. Having said that, she couldn't have gotten stuck with a worse partner. To say Sandro is short-tempered and belligerent would be an understatement. He actually seems more like a black out drunk to me. Like I seriously would not be surprised if in the reunion show they show him clips from the workroom and he says, "I don't remember any of that." The only time he was happy was when Sue just gave up and said she'd do whatever he said, which is apparently the way he thinks women should behave to men. Charming.

Not every team had drama. Kate and Helen got along famously, so much so that Helen "almost felt embarrassed for calling her a bitch." Almost, but not quite apparently. The thing about Kate is that she's easy to get along with if you agree with everything she says and kiss her ass, which Helen did. Helen is like a yappy little puppy that thinks it's so big and tough until Cesar Millan comes along and dominates it. In this case, Kate is Cesar Millan (I half expected her to say "Tsst" at Helen). Clearly she has found her new Tu.

One team I was surprised by was Alexandria and Dom. As a viewer, I really like Alexandria. She's pretty and grouchy and has a great accent. But I can't imagine she'd be much fun for her fellow designers. But not only did she and Dom do well together, they actually made something really fun and quirky, not what I was expecting at all! It also seemed like it wasn't all just one designer's point of view, which is great. And even though I know that their Japanese monster dress would probably be better suited on a younger girl, I WOULD WEAR THE HECK OUT OF THAT DRESS! I would wear it EVERYWHERE if I had it. People would be embarrassed to be seen with me after a while but I wouldn't even care. I'd chase them away with my giant fluffy monster teeth. RAWR!!

Which reminds me...what exactly did Sandro think "fluffy" meant? He said he thought it was something sexual and he and Bradon whispered to each other and Bradon nodded knowingly. I WANT TO KNOW! Please let that be revealed in the behind-the-scenes/reunion show!!

As for the winners and losers? I can't say I disagreed with the judges. I personally preferred Alexandria and Dom's look, but I think Kate and Helen's was harder to make and more dramatic in its own way. I was happy that both of those teams were in the top. And even though the judges were spoiled for choice for the bottom, it was pretty clear that the two teams they chose were particularly bad. Alexander and Jeremy seemed incapable of leaving any idea on the workroom floor (More! We need more! More plastic! More ruffles!).

But Timothy and Miranda were doomed from the start. Even the one thing that Timothy was so proud of, that damn woven vest, was terrible. And how great was it when Kelly Osbourne said she had seen videos on the internet on how to make that exact thing? I was happy that no one else was sacrificed just so ridiculous Timothy could have one more chance. It was definitely his time to go.

I'd had about as much as I could stand of his lectures on what "real" unicorns were like (they're not horses with horns, but are more closely related to hippos? WTF??). At first I thought he just loved unicorns the way someone would love glitter or the colour pink. Or maybe the way Bronies love My Little Ponies. In a fun, campy way. Then he got all serious about the "real" biology of unicorns and I was like, "What the what?"

I can only hope that Timothy did enough to get mentioned on The Soup. I'd love to see Joel McHale react to Timothy's cloven hoof unicorn theories and tears.