Does anyone else get the feeling the producers are *really* the ones picking the winners and losers?

On this week's episode of Project Runway, the designers had a dream challenge. Design a look that compliments diamond jewellery collectively worth over $30 million. Wowza! They've certainly amped up their sponsorship this year! How funny was it to see the designers faces when they saw the security guards on the runway? They reasonably assumed that the men were their models and maybe they were designing uniforms...until they saw the real guns.

It reminded me of the Philip Treacy challenge in which they had to make outfits to show off outrageous hats. Like that challenge, I expected a lot of simple, slinky dresses walking down the runway, showing off but not distracting from all the sparkles.

But the reaction I was most excited to see was of course Timothy's. We know two things about Timothy so far: One, he claims to be all about "sustainable eco-conscious wear." And two, he has no idea what that means. Again he did not disappoint.

There are a lot of very good reasons to be uncomfortable with diamonds. Remember Blood Diamond? What about the fact that they represent a socioeconomic divide between the haves and have-nots? What about the fact that we mine the earth just to get rocks that take millions of years to form and mostly just use them for decoration? But no. Timothy didn't think of any of that.

His objection? "We have to pick the prettiest diamond. And that's very superficial."

Oh. My. God.

His campaign of cluelessness continued when the designers got to Mood. He gleefully and self-righteously made a production of going through the "garbage" but then changed that to the "remnants" and then just picked fabric that had been dropped off by another design house (Zac Posen apparently!). So I'm not sure how much "upcycling" that really is. Tim tried to direct him to the organics section, but he wasn't interested. He seemed to think that if the fabric was "pre-owned" it was more eco-friendly than if it was not, regardless of what kind of fabric it was. But as Mila Hermanovski points out, half of Mood is "pre-owned." Design houses drop fabrics off ALL THE TIME, so you'll find things there that say "Marc Jacobs," "Vera Wang," etc. But still he managed to find the ugliest blue velvet (sorry Zac) and pair it with what looked like lining material. It was odious.

Oh and he used makeup on his model. Because it's easy to change your convictions on a dime when you're making them up as you go.

But Timothy's wasn't the only ugly, ill-fitting dress on the runway. Jeremy's looked like a dirty feather duster. Karen's looked like it was made by a twelve-year old. Helen's sad brown dress made the model look like she had no chest (that poor model! she was Timothy's shoeless, product-less model last week). And Alexander's, though well made, looked like a Golden Girl Gone Wild.

With all these candidates for last place, how the heck did Kahindo go home? Her dress was (mostly) finished, (mostly) well-made, and maybe a little boring. In other words it was middle-of-the-road, safe. IT WAS THE VERY DEFINITION OF SAFE. Why wasn't it, in fact, safe from elimination?

I suspect it was Kahindo rather than her dress that got eliminated. Sandro and Timothy make good TV and I think it'll be a long time before we see the end of them, at least if the producers have anything to say about it (which of course they do...besides Heidi IS one of the producers). And Helen had a full-blown panic attack on camera so I wasn't surprised they decided to keep her. I personally would have loved to see more of Kahindo and I was disappointed to see her go, especially when she didn't have the worst dress (or even the most boring, I think).

As for the winner, Kate? I don't want to talk about it. I'm just trying to ignore her so she'll go away. So far it's not working.

8 Reasons To Be Excited About the New Season of Project Runway

1. It's Project Runway, bitches! Project Runway has always been my favourite reality competition show by far, and after 11 regular seasons, several different "all-star" seasons, numerous spinoffs, a network shift and a few cast changes, it's still as great as it ever was. I love the format, I love Heidi and Tim, and I love that we get to see talented professionals make things that we can see and judge from home. I also love cooking competition shows but unfortunately you can't smell and taste the food through the TV so it's a little harder to judge. But we can all see the clothes and decide for ourselves if they're fugly.

2. Anonymous runway shows. This is very smart. I like that the judges are going to see and rate the clothes first before they know who did what, presumably to reduce their natural bias for or against certain designers. Having said that, I wonder how long it'll be before they all can spot whose design is whose. Not long, I suspect. Plus I bet there will be at least one designer who gets negative feedback if the judges can't immediately spot which design is theirs after a certain point. In the end it may not make a huge difference in the judging, but I think it may make the designers feel like they're on a more even playing field.

3. Tim gets to sit with the judges! It's about time. I understand why it's important for the role of mentor and the role of judge to be separate. There have been other fashion competition shows in which that is not the case, and it usually gets messy. As Tim has said, it's important that the clothes are judged based on the product, not the process. At the same time, it's nice that Tim can be there to bring perspective when needed. And he gets a veto card! I'll be so interested to see when he'll use it!

4. The judges get to see the top and bottom looks UP CLOSE. OMG this could be a game changer (forgive the overused phrase). I only wish that Ramon had been the designer voted back in so he could try to pass off something like his green neoprene monstrosity as a finished look. As Tim Gunn has openly said, that would NOT have held up to close scrutiny!

5. Designers get to decide their own budgets. Oh boy. How is this going to work exactly? Instead of a set budget for each challenge, the designers will be given a GoBank account with $4000 and a debit card. Every time they go to Mood, they will have to decide how much of that budget they are going to spend. Spend too much and they may run out of money before the end of the season (that MUST happen to at least on designer, right?). Spend too little and they may have trouble competing with the other looks. What do do? Also, will they be able to retain scraps from one challenge to the next, using leftover zippers and fabrics in future challenges? My guess is no, but it'll be interesting to see how it all plays out. And what happens in team challenges?

6. Zac Posen. I know this is actually his second season as a full-time judge but it took me a while to warm up to him. It's not that I don't like him (LOVE HIM ACTUALLY!) but I was sure I would miss Michael Kors. Turns out I don't miss him all that much. While it's fun to have the eccentrically mean judge, which is what Kors had become, the truth is that all of the judges can be mean at times, and Heidi at least is no stranger to the eccentric turn of phrase. So it's still a very entertaining panel to watch. But Zac's criticism seems nicer and more constructive, which makes it all the more satisfying when he calls a designer out on their $#!@.

7. Timothy Westbrook and his smuggy interpretation of "sustainability." Why is this a good thing, you may ask? Surely the 24-year-old Milwaukee designer who "identifies as a sustainability focused fibre artist" but then is giddy over the prospect of burning nylon parachute material, which releases toxic fumes into the environment, is too much of an idiot to be tolerated? And a smug idiot at that! Yes, that's true. But I think this smugiot will be very fun to watch simply because every single person on the show seems to know more about sustainability than he does, which will cause no end of opportunities to laugh at him.

He seems to think that sustainable fashion refers to only using found or recycled materials (actually that's called upcycling or trashion) or not using any electricity, makeup or hair products. Of course, he doesn't seem to know WHICH of these beauty products may be bad for the environment and which ones would be gentler alternatives, nor does he seem interested in finding out. He also seems to have no concept of the impact of the manufacturing process on the environment, which is the main focus of the sustainable design movement. The chemicals involved in making synthetic fabrics (or glittery shoes), for instance, or the pesticides involved in growing non-organic cotton. Or the worldwide impact of the fashion industry on the working conditions of factory workers or cotton farmers. These are the sort of global concerns that designers like Stella McCartney think about. Not things like using a wood burning stove to make a dress so you don't have to use electricity.

Like I said, he's a smugiot. But I can't wait to make fun of him some more! I hope Zac Posen yells at him in every challenge!

8. Holy prizes, Batman! The fact that this season boasts the biggest prize package to date may not make much of a difference to me as a viewer, but it should make the designers that much more competitive. Also, some of the perks that come from having a TONNE of heavy duty sponsors are pretty spectacular, like next week's $30 MILLION WORTH OF DIAMONDS ON THE RUNWAY. OMG I can't wait!

So what am I NOT so psyched about? In a word, Kate. I'm no fan of the "second chance bonus designer" idea to start with, because I think it weakens the integrity of the entire show. I hate when competitions that are supposed to be based on merit and how people perform in each individual challenge then turn around and say, "Just kidding! These people will get a second chance. Or a third. Or a fan vote comeback. Or an all-star season. Or a just-because-we-said-so bonus chance. Just these people though, not everyone." Because then it's no longer a competition based on merit. It's based on merit UNLESS the producers really like you and find ways to bring you back no matter what. I hate it. (Well, except the all-star season. I can live with that. But still, how MANY seasons can we have of that and still call them "All-Stars"?)

But even if I didn't hate the concept, I'd still hate Kate. She's unlikable. REALLY unlikable, and not even in a "fun to hate" kind of way. She's not a Disney villain. She's more like that bratty, bitchy girl you're forced to sit next to in high school even though you can't stand her. And since she's from Season 11, it feels like we JUST got rid of her and now she's back. It's like finding out that the bitchy girl from high school is now your sister-in-law. Ugh. I can't wait until Heidi divorces her (OMG I'm sorry for making a Heidi divorce joke. TOO SOON!).

Be back soon!

I know I'm two weeks behind on my PR blog but it's been a crazy busy August and now, on top of everything else, I have the flu. I feel too icky to think, let alone blog, but I promise I'll be back soon! Right now though I'm going back to bed.

Project Runway: Season 10: Episode 4: I Can See Your Fish Whistle From Here!

EPISODE 4: Women (and Designers) on the GO

The Drama #1: Andrea
Yes, Andrea left in the middle of the night. And yes, she's been criticized by her fellow designers and numerous bloggers for "not setting a good example for her students." But if I may just defend her for a moment. A lot of former Project Runway contestants have PR Blogs (some are better than others) and many of them have insisted over and over just how difficult the pressure can be, so they understand why some contestants call it quits (which has certainly happened a lot in the past, not just with Andrea!). But Laura Bennett's blog made an excellent point about Andrea specifically. When a designer leaves, they aren't allowed to actually leave. Eliminated designers are held in limbo, sequestered by the show until all the episodes have been filmed, sometimes being made to attend public appearances with the other designers so no one can figure out who has been eliminated when. If Andrea wanted to go HOME, she couldn't. Or at least she couldn't be SURE they'd let her. The producers and crew are following the designers for nearly 22 hours a day. They're woken up, sometimes as early as 4am, and they are often in the work room until midnight, then they have to film their interviews (the talking heads that air throughout the show) until nearly 2am. The middle of the night is the only time Andrea could have snuck off without someone stopping her. Yes, it sucks. But I get it.

Okay, moving on.

The Drama #2: Kooan
Oh, Kooan. I feel bad for him. I'm not sure what happened in real life, but the editing of the show made it look like Irina from last week broke his soul. In show promos, it was implied that Kooan had previous mental health problems, but that just makes me feel worse for him. Will he have to stay in the "eliminated designer rooms" for several more weeks, just feeling more sad and isolated? Sigh. Probably. Poor guy. 

Plus, it was really sad to see all the designers crying. Especially Nathan, who has been a bit of a non-personality so far.

And then this happened.

The Drama #3: Raul
They brought Raul back. Of course they did. It's no surprise, but the big surprise is that he wasn't immediately eliminated again. I loved watching the other designers quietly avoid his glance as he bragged that he "never should have been eliminated in the first place." I don't think anyone thought that was true. Whenever I see Raul I think, "he's the guy with the million affectations." A few years back on a Ricky Gervais & Stephen Merchant podcast, they were reading a viewer letter from someone who called himself "The Party Animal." Ricky and Steve just started making fun of him, saying they imagined he was the guy who kept insisting on his own coolness, wanting to be known by his "million affectations." Like, he's the guy who only ever wears bowling shoes. He's the guy who always carries a lunch box around. He's the guy with the Doctor Who scarf that his mom made him. That's how I see Raul. He wants to be known as the guy who always has the pointy bangs. He's the guy who always wears the Molly Ringwald hat. He's the guy in the vest. He's the guy with the unidentifiable accent. He's got a million affectations! But not much else.

Okay, finally:

The Challenge: 
It's a pretty soft ball challenge this week, and thank goodness because I don't think the designers could have handled too much more than that. Basically they have to design versatile active wear for the woman on the go, a la Michael Kors. They're not required to make it specifically day-to-night, nor are they told to make sportswear separates. All they're told is to make sure it doesn't wrinkle. I was hoping there would be a twist like there was in Season 3 (Laura Bennett's season) when the designers had to prove how well their clothes would travel by literally getting on a plane while wearing them. But it's probably for the best. These designers are so very, very tired.

The Workroom:
I've said this before but I'll say it again. As a viewer, I adore Christopher. But if I were a fellow contestant on his season, I would spit in his food. He's WAY too nosy about everyone else's work! Trying to get Buffi to change her design and use some of his fabric instead? I get that Buffi's work was unsuccessful and she did ultimately go home for it, but in the moment she must have wanted to punch Christopher for all his "constructive criticism." And it wasn't just with Buffi! He had his nose in everyone's business! See, THIS is why every new crop of designers thinks that the challenges are longer than one day. Because when you watch the show the designers always seem to find time to sit around staring at each other's work! Why aren't they focusing on their own? I'm sure it's just the editing, but it looks like Christopher spent 60% of his time sitting around sucking his teeth at other people's designs (as did Nathan, Sonjia and Melissa--where did they even find the time for that?).

As annoying as it would be for other designers, Christopher's buttinskyism did result in the show's golden moment. When Fabio was fitting his model with his way-too-short and terribly made dress, Christopher quipped, "Oh, I can see her fish whistle from here!" Pure gold.

The Runway:
Uh-oh. Heidi is wearing a cheetah-print Flintstones dress. Is that a nod to Buffi? Since we already know that Buffi's the one that is eliminated, I'm going to go with yes. Yes it is. (I realize that's not possible, but I'm not above believing that Heidi is psychic.)

Sonjia
It really did look fantastic on the model, especially when she was walking. I did notice that it was a lot thinner and more see-through than I assumed it would be (I could see the model's legs through the fabric) but that would probably make it pretty comfortable too. It didn't look quite as good in still photos or when the model was standing before the judges (well, slouching before the judges). It kind of bunched up a bit on one side, which was weird. I think it's the kind of dress that would look good on a variety of body types, but not a wide variety, if that makes sense. Like, not everyone could wear this, but quite a few people could. And I think it would look great in different colours.

Alicia
I actually loved this. I thought it really showed Alicia's point of view and was a more polished version of her signature "baby dyke" look. The "versatility" was really that it was middle-of-the-road casual, so I don't know if it completely fulfilled the challenge. You could wear this to work at most jobs, but could you wear this to a social event at night? I don't know. But you could go from the office to the grocery store for sure.

Melissa

"Salem, this is just the beginning..."

I feel like Melissa from Season 10 is living the dream of April from Season 8. She's older (but looks younger), prettier (sorry April, I know that's not relevant), and way better at what she does. She makes the witchy woman goth clothes that I think April left on her sketchbook. This look isn't for everyone, for sure, but I think it came out exactly how Melissa intended (which April's clothes almost never did).

Buffi
Do you ever get the sense that Buffi is only a designer because if she wasn't, she wouldn't know what else to do with her life? Like she needs to legitimize her clubbing-every-night-in-her-30's lifestyle with a "job" that's not really a job? When this fails to work out, I'm sure she'll start saying she's a handbag or jewellery designer or perhaps a "stylist." If her father was famous, she'd probably have her own auto-tuned vanity pop single out by now.

Fabio

Oh geez. I think he might be this year's Jerrell Scott (Season 5). Remember Jerrell? He was beautiful and fabulous and oh-so-fashionable, yet his clothes were sort of sad and ugly. Then it turns out that Jerrell Scott (born: Scott Jerrell) was really an aspiring actor and model. Although, Nathan might also be vying to be this season's Jerrell, since his clothes are also sad and plain and use that weird ugly colour palette. And like Jerrell, Nathan can actually sew. I'm not sure what Fabio can do. His clothes have zero relationship with how he himself dresses. What is going on, Fabio?? Also, I don't know why the judges never said anything about the fact that he chose a print and then DIDN'T LINE IT UP IN THE BACK! They HATE that! Maybe they did say it but it didn't air. It's all I could see when the model turned around.

Gunnar

EEESH!! Okay, there are a few designers who might be vying for the role of "personally fabulous, professionally disastrous" (sorry, Jerrell, to keep using you as an example!). Gunnar seems to think of himself as the prettiest girl in the room, but this design is just a bunch of ugly, outdated colours thrown together. Yuck!

Nathan

Oh so sad. That colour is just awful, is terrible on the model's skin tone, and makes no sense with the purple bag. The worst thing is that Nathan seems to be racing for the middle, not caring if he ever impresses the judges. Perhaps he never will.

Dmitry

Was that really ONE seam? That's pretty cool. I'm not sure how it would look on someone who actually had breasts bigger than an AA cup, but then again the cutout in the back would make it hard for a busty girl to wear a proper bra (oh I sound like Joanna Coles). I like it okay, but I'm not sure about the placement of all that pleat detail, crossing between the breasts like that. I bet on me the pleats would be in all the wrong places and I'd look like someone had just drawn a giant 'X' across my boobs, like "no access" or something. Weird.

Ven

What happened Ven?? I know you love pleats (LOVE 'EM) but I think you may need a pleat intervention. Here it just looks like you made a saggy lunch bag into a dress by throwing a full body zipper on it. Yet it is "exactly the look" he was going for. Uh-oh.

Raul

Bahahahahahaha! Okay, that's just so awful that I have nothing to say about it because I'm too busy laughing my ass off. Yeah, you were too talented to be eliminated, Raul. Surrre, you were.

Elena

Okay, in Elena's portfolio and audition tape, all her "warrior inspired" clothes look like something Janet Jackson would wear in the video "Scream" (remember that? It was awesome). But week after week she's just been presenting larger and larger clothes that make her model look less like a warrior and more like an agoraphobic who's trying to make a house out of her clothes that she can hide in. Next week I expect her to make a neutral-coloured turtle shell and just have the model's eyes and hands poking out.

Christopher

Oooh! Sharp! This was my favourite look this week. The only thing I didn't like was the length of the part that hangs down on the side. It's WAY too long! But if that were shorter, it would be fantastic! And that jacket is great. I wonder if it can actually close? But it reminds me of another jacket we've seen on the PR runway before, only I can't think of which one. Does anyone know? 

The Judging:
The guest judges are Rachel Roy (awesome!) and Hayden Panettiere (careful, she'll date you and then try to get you kicked off the show!). 

The Safe Words:

Gunnar, Melissa, Nathan, Ven, Alicia and Elena are all safe. Gunnar is "flabbergasted" because apparently he thought he would win (he's so delusional) and Melissa thinks Fabio will win (WHAT? Was she being sarcastic?)

The Tops:
Sonjia's model is stunning, but I wanted to tell her to stand up straight. Was she slouching? Or was it just the fabric of the dress that made her look like she had a mysterious third boob just above her waist? But the judges loved her dress (it was pretty good, except for the odd bunching). Plus, Sonjia is like a fashionable Tootie Ramsay from Facts of Life!

Christopher's dress and jacket look modern and expensive and the judges all love it. I wonder if he would have won if the side drape hadn't been so long. Tiny little Hayden Panettiere would have tripped on that and broken her tiny leg!

Dmitry can definitely sew and I think it'll keep him around for quite a few challenges, but he just couldn't grab the win this week.

The Bottoms:
The judges were understandably confused how someone as interesting as Fabio can make clothes that are so uninteresting. He's wearing a turban and ropes! Yet his model is wearing something you could get at Old Navy (but at Old Navy the pattern would line up in the back).

It was pretty obvious that Buffi was in trouble. Like Rachel Roy said, if your look only works when you add a belt, it's not really a garment. Like Michael Kors said, it's a hairdressing smock covering a badly made dress.

I think Raul really should have gone home. Not only was this his second chance, but it was also his "opportunity to make a suit," according to him. Since he's a menswear designer, he should be able to make a suit! But this is...I'm running out of synonyms for "awful." The t-shirt looks like it's broken, the pants are pieced together with a series of accidents and oopsies, and the vest is just an insult to the human body. I cannot stress enough how much I dislike this.


The Results:

Sonjia WINS! I was surprised it wasn't Christopher but it was a solid win. Besides, Hayden wanted to wear the winning dress to a red carpet event, so that tipped it in Sonjia's favour. Go Tootie!

Buffi is OUT. While it's legitimate that she was auf'd, I was sad to see Raul stay over her. I do think that whenever a designer comes back after being eliminated, they should have to prove themselves all the more because they've already been given a second chance that the others didn't get. So if a second chance designer is in the bottom three, I think they should usually be the one to go home. Plus, Buffi's so nice! I think the other designers will miss her, especially in the team challenge next week.

Next Week:
TEAM CHALLENGE! Plus, it looks like it's for Nina, which is always a nightmare for the designers. Looks like there will be tears. If only Buffi were there to keep everyone smiling!

Project Runway Season 10 Episode 3: Finally, a little drama! But still...there could have been more.

Episode 3: Welcome Back to the Runway, Losers (and some winners)!

Heidi meets the designers on the runway and she's back to her usual fabulous self. Did anyone else notice that her chic gold dress looks like it could have been designed by Ven? All that pleating at the collar looks like it's right up his ally. Then again, last week she wore something that reminded me of Lantie and that's who went home, so I hope it's not a bad sign for Ven! (Wait, no, he has immunity.)

As per usual with team challenges, some designers are more excited than others

The Challenge: 
It's the Lexus Red Carpet challenge and the designers must work in teams of two to design a red carpet look for the Emmys, incorporating the colour of the Lexus they've been assigned into their designs. Their clients are past contestants from Project Runway. The teams are chosen randomly. Here's the breakdown:

How cute are Dmitry and Melissa here? It won't last

Team Brown: Andrea & Christopher: Anya Ayoung-Chee, Season 9 Winner

Team Red: Raul & Alicia: Mina Hermanovski, Season 7 Finalist

Team White: Gunnar & Kooan: Irina Shabayeva, Season 6 Winner (but I'm not sure Season 6 should even count)

Team Silver: Melissa & Dmitry: April Johnston, Season 8, All-Stars (nice girl, but how she made All-Stars is a giant mystery to me)

Team Champagne: Sonjia & Nathan: Valerie Mayen, Season 8 (Oh my goodness, I barely remember her. Did she go home in the first couple of weeks in her season? Maybe somebody more memorable dropped out at the last minute and she filled in?)

Team Black: Elena & Buffi: Laura Bennett, Season 3 Finalist

Team Navy Blue: Ven & Fabio: Kenley Collins, Season 5 Finalist

The Consultation: 

Mina should be easy to design for since she has a specific point of view, a limited colour palette, and her designers are both MENSWEAR DESIGNERS! How could Alicia and Raul NOT nail this? Well, hard work and determination, that's how. They seemed determined from the start not to do what they were best at because, for some reason, they thought "everyone said they had to do gowns." In her blog, Mina later expressed how flummoxed she was by this choice.

Two menswear designers and Mina? A match made in heaven? Not if these two have anything to say about it!

Kenley's consultation goes about exactly how you'd expect it to. Did her designers even get to speak? 

Nothing says "take me seriously" like a 35-year-old woman dressed like a five-year-old. What ever happened to Sweet Baby Kenley?

The Workroom: 
The designers compare notes about clients, with each claiming that their client is the hardest one. I love when Christopher just pointed to Anya's picture on the wall and said, "Boop! I got Anya." Of course the reason I loved that is because he reminds me so much of my friend Brad, so only those of you reading this who KNOW Brad would even get that (but a few of you do, I'm sure!). Even the way he puts his hands on his hips and hunches his shoulders like a contestant on America's Next Top Model reminds me of Brad. So I really like Christopher. (Although I will say this, I don't think my friend Brad would turn into "the guy who cries" if he were on a reality competition show, like Christopher seems to be.)
 

Fabio looks on while Ven explains the dress that he and Kenley designed

Tim Gunn comes in and SURPRISE! The winner of the challenge gets to GO with the client to the Emmys! Holy Smokes! That's fun! Of course, it's not entirely clear why their clients are even going to the Emmys in the first place, but let's just assume that they're guests of the show.

In another feat of sheer determination, Christopher and Andrea manage to find a colour that looks terrible on Anya

Things seem to be proceeding along nicely until the clients visit the workroom. Anya tells Christopher and Andrea she doesn't want to show so much skin, which Andrea insists is no problem but which almost makes Christopher cry. Mina is very concerned over the red print that Raul and Alicia are working with (of course she is, it breaks up the black and white colour palette that she is married to). And Laura confirms to Buffi and Elena what they've already feared: their skirt will never be finished in time if they don't change strategies. Elena looks like her head is going to explode, which prompts Buffi to tell her to calm down. Elena behaves how ALL calm people behave: she screams "I AM CALM!" and storms out of the building for an indeterminate amount of chain smoking. Because she's super calm.

Irina is as lovely and pleasant as always (remember her from Season 6? She was a smug, entitled,  unpleasant ogre then, and nothing has changed). She later goes on to kill all Kooan's joy

When Christopher's not busy freaking out over his own partner and her "snail-like" sewing skills, he makes some pretty funny comments about Elena. "Her personality is like she just escaped...from the woods. And she's ravenous. And she'll bite your head off."
   
Elena defends her behaviour to the camera by explaining that where she's from, in the Ukraine, "you have to be tough." Okay, fair enough. I bet it was hard there. "Nobody is going to say please or thank-you there." What? Really? That sounds-- "In Ukraine if you want to eat, you have to, like, really hustle every day. Only the strong survive." Jesus! That sounds like some sort of underground fighting ring! What the hell? "The weak ones, they don't survive." ACK! Was that a threat? 

Fabio seems to have had a lot of time this challenge. Also, he looks like the Hasidic version of Andrea. I just noticed that

Thankfully everyone manages to (somehow) get their shit together enough to send their models (i.e. past contestants) down the runway. But not before Irina tries to rip Gunnar and Kooan's eyes out about her seams. She misses their eyes but seems to have stolen Kooan's soul. Now he is filled with nought but sadness. Bad, Irina! Bad!

The Runway:

Team Brown: Andrea & Christopher: Anya Ayoung-Chee

I know their Lexus was brown, but did they have to use THIS much brown? She just looks messy, like a mud puddle. A shiny mud puddle. It's crazy because they have the hottest possible client and they made her look icky.

Team Red: Raul & Alicia: Mina Hermanovski

I was hoping they'd take the "red" inspiration and make something along the lines of The Night Circus (the book by Erin Morgenstern about the dramatic magical circus at night that only uses black and white in their colour scheme, with occasional touches of red. It's been optioned as a movie) but this just looks like they gave up. And the red hardly looks like an inspiration colour, or even an important accent. It's just sort of there.

Team White: Gunnar & Kooan: Irina Shabayeva

I don't think it looks like a wedding dress and it did come out quite lovely. But Irina was right about the shoddy construction, and she comes from the season of ALL shoddy construction, so that's a pretty big insult. If this dress won, people would be laughing at it when they saw it up close, with the weird puckering bum seams.

Team Champagne: Sonjia & Nathan: Valerie Mayen

I am sick that this gold dress wasn't in the top! Did the judges blink when this went by? Maybe they didn't notice it because they also don't remember Valerie Mayen.

Team Silver: Melissa & Dmitry: April Johnston
I didn't love it or hate it. It was like a space age garbage bag, in dress form. I don't even know if that was an insult or a compliment. The back was pretty though. All in all, it was a sold middle-of-the-road effort (IN SPACE!).

Team Black: Elena & Buffi: Laura Bennett

Oh my god. Seriously? What the hell was this? Someone with as much "face" as Laura Bennett (and by that I mean chin) should NOT wear a collar so high. Why have I never noticed this before? Because Laura Bennett doesn't normally dress like this! She was, however, having the most fun on the runway. Too much fun. It was weird. Calm down, mom!

Team Navy Blue: Ven & Fabio: Kenley Collins
It was lovely and well made and exactly what Kenley would wear, but I do agree that it looked too daytime for the Emmys. Maybe if the fabric were a little more special, more like Grace Kelley? Like Sonjia said, she could wear this to church and no one would think anything of it.


The Judging:
That annoying girl from that annoying show is the guest judge for the Emmy challenge. Which totally makes sense since she's never even been to the Emmys.

 

Somehow the judges overlook Irina's seam problem and place Kooan & Gunnar in the top, along with Ven & Fabio. Raul & Alicia and Christopher & Andrea are not so lucky, although it could have easily been Buffi & Elena in the bottom. Sadly, Sonjia & Nathan's fabulous gold dress is overlooked and lands them in the middle with Melissa & Dmitry (who probably deserved to be in the middle).

When asked who should win if their look is chosen, Kooan graciously says that Gunnar should win since he was responsible for so much of the construction. Fabio admits that is also true in his team, but that he would really like to win because he feels he deserves "to pat myself on the back." Apparently, it's a self-esteem contest. Ven disagrees and says he should win since he (obviously) did all the design and construction on their dress.

When asked the question of who should go home if their look loses, the four on the bottom get a little more flustered, as you would expect. Christopher can't contain himself any longer and keeps insisting (rightly so, it would seem) that Andrea spent the whole day doing very little work and that she basically said she didn't care if she goes home or not. He then weeps that he wants to be there "so badly." I wish I could watch the extended judging in Canada, because I'm guessing there are a lot more tears. 

  

Raul and Alicia are less teary but Raul steadfastly insists that they couldn't possibly choose which of them should go home, since it was a "team effort." That is usually code for "it's my fault and I don't want you to know it." Eventually Alicia confirms that, yeah, that's kind of true.

The Results:
Ven WINS! I was surprised that his dress won, but I'm not surprised that Ven was chosen as the winner over Fabio (despite Fabio's need for back pats).
Raul is OUT. He pretends like he's fine and happy but he's pissed that Alicia wasn't kicked out too. At least I don't have to look at his stupid hair anymore. Hooray!

Next Week: Is this where all the drama FINALLY happens? It looks like Andrea has spirited herself away in the middle of the night like a, well, like a quitter. And maybe Kooan leaves too? Or is this another "this season on Project Runway" thing? I think the Andrea departure really is next week since it said "the next morning" in the promo. Can't wait!

Project Runway Season 10--Episode 2: WHAT THE HELL, PROJECT RUNWAY?

Season 10-Episode 2-Candy Couture

We were promised an episode filled with drama and breakdowns! What the hell, Project Runway? I get that sometimes the promos are for the whole season, and not just the next episdode, but it really made it seem like all of the craziness was going to happen in this episode!! What happened to the female designer who sneaks off in the middle of the night? What happened to the male designer who goes crazy and can't go on? What happened to Michael Kors telling the designers that "fashion is not for sissies"? I'm still looking forward to seeing all of that drama, but I was hoping it was all going down THIS WEEK.

Okay, I just had to get that off my chest. Moving on...



Last Week:

Lantie is a hack. Ven is kind of brilliant. Kooan is Japanese and kooky and does not want you to forget that for a single second. Christopher won and Beatrice went home because she didn't know how to sew (even though her parents owned a fabric sewing workshop for her entire childhood). Oh, and Gunnar's this year's whiny bitch. Although, I must say, after re-watching the episode, I can almost see what might have made Gunnar so mad. It did kind of look like Christopher was going around asking EVERYONE how they were doing with their designs. Every single season there are designers who try to pull off this "How are you doing over here, buddy?" kind of thing, and they always think they're being super subtle about it (I'm just being helpful! I'm just being friendly! I'm just very personable!) but everybody knows they're just trying to check out the competition. As a viewer it doesn't bother me, but the other designers usually find it irritating. So obviously I still love Christopher and hate Gunnar, but maybe there's more to it than just "Gunnar's a whiny bitch" (which is probably also true). (On the other hand, this week Gunnar turns into the worst "I just want to check out everyone's work" busy body, so maybe Gunnar is just a jerk.)

Anyway, moving on to this week!

The Challenge:



It's the unconventional challenge and the designers have to make outfits using candy from Dylan's Candy Bar. They have a budget of $250, which is a lot for an unconventional challenge, but then the owner gives them a 50% discount, giving them $500 worth of buying power. Nice!

Dylan Lauren also warns everyone not to just eat all the candy. No one listens.



Did anyone else notice Elena's hood? I think she thought it made her look like a warrior, but it just looked like a sport model hijab (which totally exists, by the way).

Of course, as with any unconventional materials challenge, the group is divided between those who buy fabric and those who don't. (We all know which approach tends to impress the judges more.) Raul even buys a pair of candy inspired boots for his model to walk in, though Tim is dubious about whether he'll be allowed to use them. Andrea spends most of her time looking at T-shirts and sheets of candy dots.

The Workroom:

Gunnar is giving Christopher the evil eye, causing Christopher to quip that Gunnar is like his evil twin. So true!

The designers seem like they're doing well for the most part, but some of them seem like they still have ALL of their work ahead of them when Tim comes in. Dmitry wants to wait until his model comes in before he starts applying any candy. Kooan's critique is comprised almost entirely of him breathing theatrically at Tim. And Andrea is in serious trouble when Tim tells her that her sewn together sheets of candy dots are like "throwing the competition," which makes her cry. Nathan and Ven don't seem to be doing any work since every time the camera shows them, they're sitting around bitching about everyone else's work.

And everyone keeps eating all the candy!


I think Ven's model was on last season too. She looks excited to have such an awesome dress. 

Elena "Ms. Dark Warrior" cries like a little kid when she burns her leg with hot glue. Cut to Christopher saying, "But why would she wear hoochie shorts to work??"

Everyone is making fun of Buffi's cotton candy bird's nest and Kooan's melted cotton candy dress, but it looks more like Lantie and Andrea are in real trouble since they used mostly fabric or fabric-like paper. And Sonjia nearly doesn't make it out of the workroom.

But finally it's time for the runway!

The Runway:

Okay, first can I just say, what was up with Heidi's outfit at the runway show? It was like she was wearing snakeskin pajamas! I bet Lantie just wanted to alter the shit out of that look.



Alicia
Who knew she could make a candy jumper? It's very Georgette of the Jungle meets The Flintstones.





Andrea
Twister in the front, gigantic skirt wedgie in the back



Buffi
I'm pretty sure she's the top contender for drag queen designer this season. Or possibly Toddlers and Tiaras designer (which Michael Kors mentions...boy that show is getting a lot of mentions already!)



Christopher
It's good, but the top is WAY too big for the model. Of course most things probably are.



Dmitry
Very cute, even if the top part isn't covered in candy. I love how it moves!



Elena
She's really committed to that boxy shape that makes all models look thick waisted. Or in this case, thick waisted and covered in spaghetti. She claimed she wanted to stick to her monochromatic "tough girl" look, but Melissa pulled that off perfectly while Elena did not. At all.



Fabio
It really looks like fabric! And it's gorgeous! But I guess it IS his strong point, because it's a little like making things out of leftover food, which he loves. He could have been in the top three, except I'm not sure what the skirt is made out of. It might be paper?



Gunnar
I love the checkerboard pattern but why did he even need the peplum? It's so weird and unnecessary, I just want to rip it right off. I'm surprised the judges didn't have a problem with it.





Kooan
It might have been good if it was in fabric, but it looks like the model was eaten by a candy monster..and then it threw her up in the back



Lantie
God, this girl is lazy. She claimed she didn't have enough time, but I guess I missed the part where Lantie only got 20 minutes to make her design.



Melissa
It really does look like leather. It's not an ideal fit, but for candy it's pretty fantastic.





Nathan
Geez, Tinker Bell got kind of fat...and slutty...well, sluttiER. It must be from her 90s rave scene days.



Raul
I guess he didn't get to use the candy boots after all. Just as well, they would have been horrible with this. The top of this outfit has so much potential, but it all falls apart with the tacky exposed midriff and clashing skirt. Pity.



Sonjia
So interesting! Like a futuristic candy-themed stewardess, but in a good way. I'm not crazy about the shape of the skirt though. It's like a lap bib.



Ven
Holy hell! That's astounding! How did he even do the signature rose thing with candy??


The Judging:



Guest judge: Dylan Lauren of Dylan's Candy Bar (who is also Ralph Lauren's daughter, apparently. Crazy!)

Somehow Andrea manages to escape being in the bottom three (yay! I like her!), but Dmitry looks pissed that he didn't make the top three.



Heidi tells Buffi that her model looks like a five-year-old going to a birthday party. Again, the judges tell Lantie that all she did was slightly alter things that were already made. Michael Kors even called her "just a decorator." Elena's dress is barely still in tact by the time she faces the judges. What I don't understand about Elena is that all her designs make her model look HUGE, yet the clothes she herself wears show off how skinny she is. Maybe she just hates her model.


The Results:
WINNER: Ven wins! Despite some debating among the judges, he seems like he was the only serious choice for the win. Ven agrees.

OUT: Lantie is out. It's no surprise, except that I really thought she would be the female designer who later sneaks off and goes home in the middle of the night. Now I guess we'll just have to wait and see. I was actually looking forward to hating Lantie's brattiness for a little longer.


Next Week:
Team Challenge! And it looks like their clients are Anya from Season 9, Kenley from Season 5 and Irina from Season 6 (Irina? Really?) Is this where we'll see the drama? I'm not sure. In the promo clip for next week, it shows the designers standing on the runway before the judges and all fourteen of them are there, so I don't think next week is the week people start quitting. Grrrr...